The Ties That Bind

I’ve been wondering what direction my blog is taking.  It seems to touch on many subjects.  I suppose in essence the name is fitting, Mommy’s Mayhem.  I like to think its multifaceted kind of like myself.  

Lately, my focus has been on the great powers we hold as women.  I always say to my female clientele that we were built to last, to endure.  I find the things we’re capable of fascinating.  Have you ever met another creation as divine and diverse as a woman? 

We are hunters and gatherers for our families. We work both inside and outside of the home.  We are just as much the protectors of our assets as men.  We are the encouragers of the fallen, we are guiders to the proper path, we are fighters for the weak.  We are all multifaceted, with layers upon layers of experiences and ideas and creative thinking. We are the home. 

The vast majority of us are nurturers by nature.  We are the ties that bind families and friends together.  We are capable of generating life, giving light in times of darkness, lifting and carrying the heaviest of burdens.  All while doing what needs to get done in order to keep everything and everyone functioning like well oiled machines.  We are sisters, friends, mothers, daughters, lovers and partners.  We’re movers, shakers, adventurers and memory makers.  

We are women, hear us roar! 
My final thought; I think we should strive to bind closer together. We can be pretty harsh with each other sometimes. We’re sisters, fighting the same battles, the same devils on different levels. 

Manic Monday: Food for the Soul: Monica, Beautifully Imperfect.

I’m writing this today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.  Mario, read it as is! 

Dear Friends and Family, I’m writing my own eulogy today because I want you to know that this day should be a celebration of my life.  I want to journal what I want to be said.  I don’t want anyone of you to be sad, or mad.  Like Winston Churchill said

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

To my sugar bug (Lizard): When you were born I vowed I was going to spend the rest of my life teaching you what life was about.  As luck would have it, it was you that taught me more.  I never dreamt  that what felt like a hefty 9 pound sack of  potatoes was capable of turning my life around.  That’s right my love.  You were 9 pounds of pure perfection.  Don’t get me wrong, you literally tore me a new one the day you were born.  Nonetheless, I forgave you for that.  Although I had to keep reminding myself that you were a blessing every time I sat down to pee and just FYI, I didn’t poop for two weeks because I was afraid it’d be worse than pushing you through my birth canal.  Sugar, I want you to celebrate our lives together.  I want you to remember all of the moments we shared and all of the lessons I taught you. 

When you were 5 years old, I asked you to clean your room.  I walked by to check on your status and I saw you kicking your toys under the bed.  Seeing that just chapped my ass.  I thought to myself: what an ungrateful child I’ve created.  So angrily, I walked into your room with a large black lawn trash bag and I made you dig every little toy out and we pieced them all together and put them into their boxes and bags.  When you asked me what we were doing, I told you we were donating your toys to the less fortunate.  I told you never to ask me to buy you another toy again because you had no idea how hard I’d worked to give you everything only to have you kick my sweat under your bed.  I stuck to my word, we donated your toys and I never bought you another.  You were allowed books, crafts and movies.  I know it seems cruel.  I was angry and I was going to teach you a lesson you wouldn’t forget.  And you know what?  You learned.  About a year later you were visiting Mamita and Papito for a week in Cotulla.  When you met the next door neighbor’s daughter Lupita, you called me and asked me to pick you up.  I picked you up and when we got home you packed up the vast majority of your clothes,toys and dress up clothes that you’d collected from birthday and holiday gifts.  You gave them to Lupita.  I remember asking you if you were sure about what you were doing.  You said to me “Mom, if I don’t give this stuff to her, she’ll never have it.”                                                                I knew at that precise moment your golden heart was way bigger than I’d ever imagined.                                                             I want you to remember that you taught me to be a bigger, better person, a better mother. 

Emma (Punkin): Dear God, I knew I was getting two handfuls when I had you.  You were feisty even in the womb.  I remember when you had your first “boyfriend” Jeremy.  You two were inseparable.  Well at least up until he puked in front of you.  You were on a play date with ‘Pa , Jeremy and Jeremy’s grandma.  As you two strolled along hugging each other Jeremy suddenly threw up.  As Jeremy stood there crying and his grandma frantically tried to clean him up and calm him, you turned to ‘Pa and said while pinching your nose, “Eew. That smells!! ‘Pa take me home.  Bye Jeremy.”                                                                My little Miss My way or the highway.  In a world where you can be anything.  Be kind, especially to your daddy and sister! 

Mario, my love.  I will come back to haunt you like a raging poltergeist you’ve yet to see in one of your favorite scary movies if you don’t take care of yourself or the girls.  I don’t want you to be alone.  I want you to remarry if you find someone worthy of the blissful love you’ve given me.  Make sure you warn her that you’re kind of a pain and she’s gonna have to ride your ass like sea biscuit because let’s face it dear, that’s how I rolled.  By the way, if the girls don’t like her pay attention to that.  They’re telling you something.  And if they won’t tell you they don’t like her, I will 😈. 

In all honesty, I really would like you to find a companion.  One that’s willing to wipe your ass if I’m not there to do it.  You may not return to an old flame.  Don’t be desperate.  She was a fucking twat waffle.  Besides, I’ll make your life fucking miserable even from beyond he grave.  I will not let you love them, because they couldn’t love you like you deserve.  Viejas panochudas! 

My dad will probably still be around and she has to be willing to put up with all of you, as the family you are. 

She has to have my strength Mario. She’s going to need it and so are you. You guys are a tough crowd. 😘 I’ll always love you. You were my everything. 

“There was too much inside us. Maybe it was love or maybe it was something else. We had a light, a brilliance we tried so hard to ignore and all our faults had little significance to the story we were not willing to let go.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.”, 2015. iBooks. 

Remember to tell the girls all of the good, bad and the ugly about me, you know I always loved hearing you make fun of me with my double standards. Example: “Mario, we have to buckle down, we have to stop making these late runs to sonic!”    You: “Monica, you just said you were starving.”                                                            Me: “I really am hungry. I’m not talking about right now. But, yes in the future, stop me. Why are you going along with me?  Stop cooperating with me.”            You: “You said you were starving!”             Me: “I’ll say anything for snacks. You have to know when I’m lying or not.  But, yes I really am hungry right now.  Not starving anymore, but I was when we left the house.”                                                     You: mimicking me in a whiny voice “I’m starving. Let’s go to sonic!”

Remind them, like they can’t already tell that I was beautifully imperfect.  That my voice carried, I had a sailors mouth, I was always feisty, neurotic most of the time, extremely over analytical, high strung, total type A, sarcastic, brutally honest. Remind them that in all my craziness I was also very happy, considerate, caring, helpful, nurturing, a pretty good cook if I do say so myself, loving, funny, adventerous, and sympathetic.  Tell them all of the things I was, good and bad.  Keep me fresh in their minds.  And keep me fresh in my mothers and sisters minds too! I will not tolerate any of this moving in on my man shit! Babe, I’ll allow you to elaborate on this if you want.      Anyone tries anything funny and I’ll make sure all of you shit your pants. That’s a promise bitches!   

“With open eyes, I see the world.  With an open heart I see the souls.  and with an open mind I see it all differently.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.”, 2015. iBooks.

 I will always be with you all as long as you keep my memory alive in your hearts. 

“You will be the clouds and I will be the sky.  You will be the ocean and I will be the shore.  You will be the trees and I will be the wind.  You will be the stars and I will be the moon.  You will be the sunset and I will be the horizon.  Whatever we are, you and I will always, always collide.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.”, 2015. iBooks. 

36 & Life To Go: Manic Monday 


During my recent quest of self care and self preservation I’ve learned that I’ve gotten a few things down right and a few wires crossed.  

Don’t know how I managed that.  Just kidding.  I like to bite off more than I can chew just to keep myself on my toes.  My parents don’t celebrate mediocrity. As the oldest, I’ve developed and mastered the art of overextending myself but managing to complete all tasks in a timely manner.  I collapse and need at least a day to recover but I get things done. 

Anyway, about my crossed wires…it’s taken me all of this time to realize that it doesn’t matter how healthy I eat or how much exercise I can squeeze into my days if I’m neglecting what matters the most.  Feeding and nurturing my soul. 

I took a couple of days off from work to participate in a retreat for the women of Chicktime Inc.  My goodness, I have to say that nothing has set my soul on fire like having the opportunity to meet these amazing women.  Talk about empowering women, the wonderful capabilities we all have to do things that matter, to do things that change lives.  These women are the difference the world needs.  The givers.  

(Photo is courtesy of Mrs. Lori Rhodes Chicktime Inc)

As I worked on the ladies and talked to them I could feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.  Every life they touch and reach out to means something to them.  They’re worried about everyone.   This really struck me.  Just as I struggle to do things for myself, they do too, because their number one concern is everyone else. 

Through the years I’ve met many women, and it seems our struggle is the same… We’re trying to do everything.  

Working on these rock star women was an experience I needed to have.  It stirred and awakened a passion for the love of all of humanity.  It set me on fire.  I want to do so much more for them.  As they take on battles many of us are fearful of, these courageous women are making a difference.  Just as humanity needs them, they need me.  I need me.  We need each other. 

Please at some point, take the time to nurture yourselves just as you would nurture anyone in need.  

~Everything that you partake in is being absorbed into your spirit on a conscious/unconscious level. Be mindful of that.  ~Minaa B.

The One Upper

I thought I was a people person.  As of lately I feel like I want to get into my monster truck (the one I own in my dreams) and run over all of the bullshit coming out of people’s mouths.  I want to have my Beyoncé moment and go around busting windows in vehicles. 

(Courtesy of one of my favorite apps I can live out my dream without the trouble. Thank God for Jib Jab.)

I don’t know when I became so intolerant.  Maybe it was reading Tina Fey saying “You know what, Bitches get things done.”  I may have taken this little tidbit to heart.  Then I thought, nah, she’s right.  

So to the one uppers of the world, I think I may have finally one upped all of you.  I courageously took on giving myself a Brazilian wax at home, while listening to music, bathing my three year old, blow drying my hair and accepting a call from my hubby.  Ha! Tina Fey was right! “Bitches get things done!”  This is a true story.  I really did do this.  Not without complications of course, but I did it! 

I suppose my neurotic rant has more to do with squashing the crap I hear and actually getting things done.  I’ve heard some whoppers lately.  My thoughts are more in the evaluation of the roles these people play in my life verses the actual story.  Yes, crazy things happen, I do many thoughtless things myself, but, I don’t go around trying to one up anyone.  

I’m a simpleton.  I admire the things we’re capable of, the things we do, can manage.  I admire things about everyone because I believe we all have special talents and gifts.  

Like Calvin Harris’ lyrics in the song Colours  “I don’t care what you dress like, or what you wear.”  I really don’t.  I do care how you treat those around you, especially around me.  

To my fellow simpletons here are some uplifting quotes to make you laugh. 

  • I may love to shop, but I’m not buying your bullshit. 
  • Sometimes there are no words to describe how we feel about people.  Thank God. He gave us a middle finger. 
  • People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

These Hands Of Mine

These hands of mine hold great powers.  They soothe the aches and pains of tired muscles, they dry tears, they make great dinners and mystery stews.  

They sand and refinish furniture.  They tame wild hair.  They reign in the angry, frustrated husband, out of frustration they occasionally make obscene gestures.  

 They scratch backs, massage feet, wash slimy green algae off shoes.  

They decorate the home, they carry heavy bags, they wipe behinds, they wash cars, they clean house. 

They pack picnics, they hold books, they make money, they type, they sometimes bake, once in a while iron.  They play with play dough, they color, they polish nails, they give pedis, they make coffee and tea.  They serve up a mean chicken tortilla soup. 

Everything they do, they do with love.   Of all the things my hands can do, I’m glad at the end of the day, they get to hold you. 

Song of Solomon 6:3 I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. 

Tall Trees, The River & A Breeze

Entering the Guadulupe State Park located at 3350 Park Rd 31, Spring Branch, TX 7807. 

The day was beautiful and slightly overcast.  The water was nice and cool.  The perfect day to sit and bask.  The drive into the hill country was gorgeous as always. Long winding roads, breezy and soothing.  You know you’re heading towards a heavenly made oasis, an escape of city living.

As families gather together, they chatter, laugh and layabout. Others enjoy the currents of water carrying them through the banks of the river, with scenic views of secret caves hidden throughout.  The entangled trees seem to hold hands, waiting to embrace you and take away life’s demands. Escape to nature; the Guadalupe calls,  and I quickly answer before I lose my gall. 

36 Years Of Life Lessons & Counting: Soul Food 

1. Health is wealth.  It’s easy to take your health for granted in your youth.  Things are easy and inexpensive because you have youth on your side.  Imagine paying for things because you’ve mistreated yourself and your body.  

2. Self care is more than self preservation.  Self care is not only about caring for your body and mind, it’s also about nurturing yourself and your soul.  Evaluating the company you keep and the things you do.  Believe it or not, these are all things our bodies ingest.   

3. Seek respect not attention.  There’s a huge difference between the two, don’t blur the lines.  

4.  Karma is real, you’ll get exactly what is coming to you.  (Remember Galatians 6:7) For whatever a person is sowing, this he will also reap.  Meaning, there are consequences for our actions. 

5. Kill them with kindness.  As a young girl I hadn’t the patience for this.  I learned later on to put this to use.  It really is the absolute best defense.  

6. Reading psychology books really gives you a great upper hand at understanding people and their behavior.  Everyone should read at least three different ones.  Understanding the how’s and why’s plays a significant part in understanding and getting to know yourself as well as others and how you interact. 

7. Getting older isn’t that bad.  I’ve enjoyed my life even more so now that I’m older than I ever did when I was younger.  Sure, my joints creak a little and I may grunt after a long hike but, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy. 

8. The key to peace and joy is gratitude.  Often times I thought peace and joy would come with job stability, steady income, love etc… The truth is yes, I’ve worked hard at all of the above but being grateful for everyday, and all of the above, and being grateful for waking for another day to put the day before to shame, that’s what’s brought me peace and joy.  In an instant things can change, and if I’m not 6 feet under yet, I’m grateful to be here.  When my day comes, I’m so happy I got a chance to be here and experience love, loss, pain, children, hard work, laughter; I’m happy I got to experience life. 

9. You’ve got to leave your comfort zone.  If you want to move forward in anything, you have to step outside of your comfort zone.  Life isn’t lived in a bubble. 

10.  Make it a point to visit a good massage therapist monthly.  Life is better when you’re aligned on the inside and loving yourself.  Always remember the words of Eleanor Brownn~Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

11.  There’s always some truth behind every “Just kidding.”  There’s always some knowledge behind every “I don’t know.” There’s always some emotion behind every “I don’t care.”  There’s always some pain behind every “I’m okay.”   Be aware, be cautious, be kind, but don’t be a door mat either. 

12. Never say never.  Life moves pretty fast there are unexpected twists and turns. 

13. Don’t judge, often times we’re quick to jump the gun.  Not a single one of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Understanding and listening are key.  You learn something new everyday.  Try looking at things from a different window, gain a new perspective.  

14. Riches don’t matter as much as fulfillment.  All the money in the world couldn’t buy you the happiness you’re in search of without gratitude, sacrifice, old fashioned hard work & faith.  Every thing we love takes the above ingredients. 

15. Paulo Coelho’s introduction of The Alchemist is a Must Read!  It changed my life. 

16. Listen more than you talk. 

17. Indulge in something really special every once in a while and share in it with someone.  You don’t want to spend your whole life working without ever knowing what it is to live. 

18. Stretch everyday & every night for at least 10 minutes.  You’ll thank yourself for sticking to this later. 

19. Giving is so much better than receiving.  When I was young and (heartless) inexperienced I had no idea what this meant.  I learned from watching my parents and grandparents.  I’ve taught my oldest well.  She is the salt of the earth.  There is no greater gift. 

20. Time alone with your partner IS imperative.  Keep your bonds close, strong and well nurtured. 

21. Have a hobby.  Life revolves around work and kids, everyone needs something to do to decompress.

22. Appreciate nature, it’s grander, beauty & strength.   Go hiking, go for a walk, breathe, just breathe. Take it all in. 

23. Laughter really is the best medicine.

24. Mean what you say & say what you mean.  Life’s too short to leave important words unsaid and far too short to waste time with long tongued liars. 

25. Donate what you don’t need. 

26.  Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.  If you are sorry, prove it.  Don’t let meaningless words fall out of your mouth. 

27. Don’t lose yourself to someone else.  

28. When you fall, dust yourself off and get up again. You won’t get anywhere laying in the dirt. 

29. Quality over quantity always.  Especially with family. 

30.  Make your place or space a home.  Even when it’s temporary, you should feel at home after a long day.  This will help you relax. 

31. Discipline.  There’s a huge difference between being mean and discipline. 

34. Give praise & credit where it’s due. 

35.  Take a real vacation.  The world only seems small when you don’t get out enough to explore it. 

36. Trust your gut.  That tiny voice that says don’t take that route today….is right.

Exchanges of Energy 


I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now.  In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in.  I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it.  My focus was on fixing things. 

I loved the clinical side of massage.  I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia.  I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  

Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times.  Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 

When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall.  It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands.  It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.

  I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me.  I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally.  I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 

While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself.  She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away.  As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe.  As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks.  Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life.  I felt it.  I don’t know what you did, but, you have.  I feel different.  It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?”  I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.”  Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time.  By the time I was done, she looked different.  Happier.  Fulfilled.  Changed.  I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined.  I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 

I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients.  Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 

I love what I do.  I always have.  I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs.  It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me.  The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

~Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung

~Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci

~A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu

Reasons To Get Regular Massages

  • To improve your overall quality of life
  • Helps with depression & anxiety 
  • Helps with pain management 
  • Improves circulation 
  • Decreases and helps with stress
  • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
  • Enhances the bodies immunity 
  • Reduces cramping & spasms
  • Reduces migraine pain
  • Enhances sleep quality
  • Helps with post operative adhesions 
  • Helps with swelling 
  • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
  • Stretch over used muscles
  • Lowers blood pressure 
  • Calms the nervous system
  • Increases tissue regeneration 
  • Improves red blood cell count
  • Decreases muscle deterioration 
  • Improves muscle tone
  • Improves posture
  • Reduces mental stress 
  • Provides a sense of health & well being.